Balancing Wants and Needs

I am reminded of my daughter’s second grade Junior Achievement lesson, when I spent 4 weeks teaching the kids about the difference between wants and needs.  I had one hour each week with them and together we learned that a new video game is not a NEED.  We learned that most of what we wanted Santa to bring was a WANT and not a NEED.  It was fun to reminisce about that lesson, and in doing so I realized that the balance of wants and needs is way out of whack in my life.

I want to this, but I have to do that.
I want to go here, but I have to go there.
I have to get this done.  I have to get that done.
I want to do that, but there is no time.
Maybe another day.  Maybe later.

have to….have to… have to…..  There are SO many ‘have to’ dos, that I think I might go insane!   I have recently realized my dilemma may be self imposed.  If I’m honest, my dilemma IS self-imposed.  Sometime along the way I have taken on the role of Super Woman.  Over the years I have taken on problems that don’t really belong to me, but I’m happy to go solve them, because that’s what I do.  I have to help.

have to…have to.. have to…

I’m sure you do it too.  You over commit, over schedule, over plan and over think.  We must stop.  We must step back and decide if what we are doing is what we WANT to do, or more dreadfully, is what we HAVE to do. There must be a better balance. Of course the day is filled with things that have to get done.  But, the day should also be sprinkled with things that you want to get done.

What makes you smile?  Do it.  Do it more often.

What fills your heart with happiness?  Do it.  Do it more often.

Super woman is make believe.  Time to get real.

Pain, Pain, DON’T GO AWAY

Wellness focuses on physical, emotional and spiritual health, and all three aspects should be considered part of your wellness plan.

Physical pain is obvious and can usually be relieved with pain medication.  Emotional pain is harder to conquer and is often not obvious to the outside world. Statistics show that nearly 10% of the adult population suffers from depression or anxiety, two of the most common forms of emotional pain.

In a recent discussion with a friend of mine who is putting together a new course for a local community college on How Training for a Marathon is Like Training for Life, we discovered that many of the keys to success in marathon training can be directly applied to life.  Of course this is meant to be a metaphorical comparison and in no way discounts the emotional pain you may be experiencing.

Lean into the Pain.  When we are exercising and feel the first twinge of pain we pull away.  We withdraw from that level of exertion and move down the scale to something ‘a little easier’.  That is exactly what we shouldn’t be doing.  Our brains instinctively tell us to avoid pain.  However, in marathon training, as in life, it is impossible to achieve mastery without pain–sometimes for a long time.  Though counter-intuitive, we should be LEANING INTO the pain of effort–not away. To escape the pain, you must push through this roadblock and get to the other side.  Stand strong to the pain and don’t back down.

For me, this lesson applies directly to my life (I am NOT training for a marathon).  Whether it’s growing my small business or dealing with a plethora of other ‘life issues’, pushing through the pain allows me to carry the hope that ‘this won’t last forever’ and ‘there’s light on the other side’.

We often avoid the rain, but rain cleanses, it makes things GROW–just like the pain of effort makes us grow.  It is okay to put on a raincoat when it rains, but it’s not okay to stay inside and AVOID the rain..and the pain…lest we deny ourselves the joy of victory.

So, go buy a raincoat.  You can do this.  Push through the pain and celebrate what’s on the other side!

Living The Life You Were Given

As I write this blog post, we are three days away from a new year.  As we wind down 2011 and look forward to what 2012 might bring, I find myself breathing a sigh of relief that I survived another hard year.  Life is hard, yes it is true.  But, life is hard for everyone.  I am learning to put challenges into a new perspective and realize that perhaps I should stop trying to control my life and just ‘let it happen’.

A good friend gave me a bit of advice the other day; she said “let go…. let God“.  Another wonder bit of advice came from the book Gabby, the story of Gabby Giffords and her struggle to regain strength and health after her terrible ordeal.  Her husband said it this way “courage is living the life you were given when it isn’t the life you had planned”.  Woo..  for me, that sums it up PERFECTLY.

Being a very strong Type A, I have always been sure that I could control my world, I just needed to ‘want to’ bad enough.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  My life’s motto.  I stayed headstrong and stubborn with making sure my life went according to plan.  It didn’t work. Whew, I’m exhausted.  As we all know, it’s really not possible to ‘control’ life.  Yes, it is necessary to arrange order and structure in life to make your days easier to manage, but really, that’s much different than ‘control’.

I have always been convinced that people come into our lives at precisely the moment we need them most.  It is our job to keep our hearts (and eyes) open and recognize these gifts.

I was headed to the airport on a business trip the other week and had made up my mind that morning that I would ‘be open’ to whatever was going to happen to me that day.  No tunnel vision.  Just open and paying attention to what was happening around me.

I was standing waiting for the train and this man came down the escalator screaming to someone on his cell phone.  He was cussing up a storm.  I looked at the elderly lady next to me and she said ” oh my, life is too short to be that angry“.  I nodded and agreed.  The train came and we both got on.  She came and stood very close to me with tears in her eyes.  She told me that her and her daughter had a falling out many months ago and that her daughter hadn’t spoken to her in months.  That morning, just before she left for the airport, the daughter called.  She apologized for the rife that had caused so much pain and told her mother she was sorry and that she loved her.

This stranger then touched my arm and said “we shouldn’t let anger take over our lives“.  Whow…. how did she know those were the exact words I needed to hear that day? I got tears in my eyes as the train came to a stop.  I hugged her and thanked her for her special gift.

That chance encounter has had an impact on my life. We are all dealing with our individual struggles, but have the ability to bring light to another person’s day.  Whose life have you touched today?

Happy New Year to you and those you love!

Cranberry Sauce for Your Skin

According to The Beauty Bean website, cranberries can be your new best friend.

When you think cranberries, you likely think of cranberry sauce and Thanksgiving side dishes. You probably don’t think about whipping up a facial mask and applying it to your skin.  But, you should! Rich in antioxidants, cranberries are not only a great addition to our diets to help prevent diseases, but also great when applied topically to our skin to help ward off wrinkles, reduce redness and prevent any signs of skin damage.

Here’s a great recipe from The Beauty Bean website to help you bring the benefits of cranberry to your skin.

Homemade Anti-Aging Cranberry Facial Mask

¼ teaspoon Green Clay (found in health food stores)
1 teaspoon Plain Yogurt
1 tablespoon Honey
¼ cup of cranberries
¼ cup cranberry juice

Blend the cranberries to a pulp.  Mix in all other ingredients thoroughly.  Apply to face and leave on for 10-15 minutes.  Rinse thoroughly before toning and moisturizing as usual.  If you would like your masque to be thicker, add more green clay.  Your skin will feel radiant, exfoliated, and deeply hydrated. Who knew the cranberry had such great impact!  Enjoy.

How to Keep the Doctor Away

Remember the old saying, ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’?  Well, it’s true.

According to an article by Abigail Cuffey, published in the October 2011 edition of Woman’s Day magazine, women who ate apples every day had 14% lower total cholesterol, a 23% decrease in LDL (the ‘bad’) cholesterol and a 3% rise in HDL (the ‘good’) cholesterol.  According to Bahram Arjmandi, PhD, RD, “these results were shocking because the women made no other changes to their health habits,”.

Apples are rich in fiber, which contributes to the improved cholesterol, and they contain quercetin, a powerful antioxidant that may help fight inflammation.

Seems like a pretty easy way to make a positive impact on your overall health.

And it’s apple pickin’ time!  If you’ve never been to an apple orchard to pick the apples yourself, or to peruse through the bushel baskets of freshly picked apples, you MUST make this a bucket-list item.  There’s nothing better than a cool fall day, the smell of leaves and apples in the air, a nice warm sweater and bushels of apples!  Give it a try.

Have a wonderful apple pickin’ day!