Articles in Stress

Today I Feel Stronger

Yesterday I had the honor of attending a book signing for my friend Buna Dahal. I met Buna through my ownership of Ciao Bella Day Spa and am so inspired by her strength.

Buna was born blind in Nepal and from very early in her life she pushed against the boundaries of low expectations.  She lead her own parents to the doorstep of the Provincial School for the Blind in Dharan, which initiated a personal trajectory that brought her to the United States as a scholarship student at the Overbrook International school at age 18. After completing her degree from Columbia College in Chicago at 26, Buna was invited to present an empowering speech at the United Nations in March 2007.  She earned her Masters Degree from Regis University School of Professional Studies just before her 38th birthday.

At an early age Buna realized that she had a dream… not just to survive but to live. She  challenged every obstactle with her strong determination to be better and stronger.  In last night’s presentation she told the group that leadership comes from the heart.  It’s nothing you learn from a How-To Book.  There are leadership skills in each of us, we just need the courage to recognize them and march forward to grab everything we can out of life.  Find your passion and look for opportunities.

Believe in yourself.

I am me.  Let me be unique.

Lead yourself first.  Trust your heart.  It knows how to lead.  Have courage.

Do more than survive….. find your passion and LIVE.

Thank you, Buna.  You are a true inspiration.

Balancing Wants and Needs

I am reminded of my daughter’s second grade Junior Achievement lesson, when I spent 4 weeks teaching the kids about the difference between wants and needs.  I had one hour each week with them and together we learned that a new video game is not a NEED.  We learned that most of what we wanted Santa to bring was a WANT and not a NEED.  It was fun to reminisce about that lesson, and in doing so I realized that the balance of wants and needs is way out of whack in my life.

I want to this, but I have to do that.
I want to go here, but I have to go there.
I have to get this done.  I have to get that done.
I want to do that, but there is no time.
Maybe another day.  Maybe later.

have to….have to… have to…..  There are SO many ‘have to’ dos, that I think I might go insane!   I have recently realized my dilemma may be self imposed.  If I’m honest, my dilemma IS self-imposed.  Sometime along the way I have taken on the role of Super Woman.  Over the years I have taken on problems that don’t really belong to me, but I’m happy to go solve them, because that’s what I do.  I have to help.

have to…have to.. have to…

I’m sure you do it too.  You over commit, over schedule, over plan and over think.  We must stop.  We must step back and decide if what we are doing is what we WANT to do, or more dreadfully, is what we HAVE to do. There must be a better balance. Of course the day is filled with things that have to get done.  But, the day should also be sprinkled with things that you want to get done.

What makes you smile?  Do it.  Do it more often.

What fills your heart with happiness?  Do it.  Do it more often.

Super woman is make believe.  Time to get real.

Pain, Pain, DON’T GO AWAY

Wellness focuses on physical, emotional and spiritual health, and all three aspects should be considered part of your wellness plan.

Physical pain is obvious and can usually be relieved with pain medication.  Emotional pain is harder to conquer and is often not obvious to the outside world. Statistics show that nearly 10% of the adult population suffers from depression or anxiety, two of the most common forms of emotional pain.

In a recent discussion with a friend of mine who is putting together a new course for a local community college on How Training for a Marathon is Like Training for Life, we discovered that many of the keys to success in marathon training can be directly applied to life.  Of course this is meant to be a metaphorical comparison and in no way discounts the emotional pain you may be experiencing.

Lean into the Pain.  When we are exercising and feel the first twinge of pain we pull away.  We withdraw from that level of exertion and move down the scale to something ‘a little easier’.  That is exactly what we shouldn’t be doing.  Our brains instinctively tell us to avoid pain.  However, in marathon training, as in life, it is impossible to achieve mastery without pain–sometimes for a long time.  Though counter-intuitive, we should be LEANING INTO the pain of effort–not away. To escape the pain, you must push through this roadblock and get to the other side.  Stand strong to the pain and don’t back down.

For me, this lesson applies directly to my life (I am NOT training for a marathon).  Whether it’s growing my small business or dealing with a plethora of other ‘life issues’, pushing through the pain allows me to carry the hope that ‘this won’t last forever’ and ‘there’s light on the other side’.

We often avoid the rain, but rain cleanses, it makes things GROW–just like the pain of effort makes us grow.  It is okay to put on a raincoat when it rains, but it’s not okay to stay inside and AVOID the rain..and the pain…lest we deny ourselves the joy of victory.

So, go buy a raincoat.  You can do this.  Push through the pain and celebrate what’s on the other side!

How to Get Relief From a Pounding Headache

Pounding head pain leaves millions of women in agony every summer.  Here’s why and how to get relief.

According to an article in the July 2011 issue of Better Homes and Gardens, an estimated 22 million women suffer from seasonal headaches and migraines each summer.  Things like sun glare, extreme heat, dehydration and thunderstorms can trigger  the pain.

Sun Glare
As light waves reflect off flat surfaces such as water, sand or pavement, they intensify and can jog the brain’s thalamus, the hub where pain signals are processed.  Cutting the glare is key to stopping this headache trigger.  Be sure to choose a pair of sunglasses with 100 percent UVA and UVB protection.

Heat
According to researches at Harvard University, hospital records show an increase in hospital visits for every 9 degree fahrenheit increase in outdoor temperature.  One possible explanation is that the heat redirects blood to the head’s peripheral tissues causing the pain.  Be aware of your ‘heat threshold’ and try to choose indoor activities during these peak-heat hours.

Dehydration
We already know that the hot sun can dry you out, but a dry mouth isn’t the only indicator of dehydration.  Fluid loss can also sensitize the pain receptors in your brain causing the onset of a splitting headache.  Whenever you’re outdoors, drink 8-12 ounces of water every one to two hours, even if you don’t feel dehydrated.

Thunderstorms
No need to check the weather report, some people can predict the oncoming storm just by the throbbing pain in their head.  Reports blame the sudden drop in barometric pressure that precedes such storms.  This drop seems to rouse a sensory region of the brain that interprets the stimulation as pain.  Gentle forms of relaxation, including yoga and deep breathing, may help to alleviate this headache trigger.

Have You Seen ME lately?

Today’s post is of a personal nature.

Call it a mid-life crisis, but as I look to leave my 40′s and reluctantly admit my age will soon start with a FIVE, I am suddenly struck with a fear I haven’t known for many years. I stand here alone. I stand here lost with what my future might hold. People say it’s easy…. just do what makes you happy. What is that exactly? Do you know? Do you know what really makes you HAPPY?

I have spent my adult life driving toward a destination known as HAPPINESS. I know all the cliches…’life is a journey, not a destination’, ‘life is not what you drive or where you live’, blah blah blah. At the end of the day, I got LOST. I was so busy arranging my executive career, my family live, other peoples’ happiness, that I forgot ME. I never took the time to cultivate those things ‘that make my heart sing’. I can’t even name what those things are. I’ve thought about it for days…. I got NOTHING.

I’ve always said there were three important lessons I wanted to teach my children. Courage, Confidence and Compassion. Funny how those are the things I need most at this moment in my life.

• The Courage to trust my heart. It never lies. It will always show you the way.
• The Confidence to believe I DESERVE THIS.  This is no guilt in finding my true heart.
• The Compassion to give myself time to work through these issues.  Change is hard.

I hope that if you are experiencing a similar challenge, you can find the courage to trust your heart, the confidence to know you deserve only the best, and the compassion to give yourself a break.

Here’s to life and the changes it brings.  Yipee!!